A truth…fact is–if it wasn’t an issue–It wouldn’t be a status–there wouldn’t be a selection of them to choose from.
There are many forms of this kind of loss–a live death…and so many suffer this unique agony from it in silence.
It can be a family splintering-even siblings cutting themselves off from each other. Could be parent/child. Or, more often than not, a breakdown of a marriage or relationship where one still loves, the disintegration of the attachment not the …choice of both in the partnership..
Many do not understand it or accept it as a real loss.. Like death. And that those who grieve should simply ‘get over it”..”move on”. “”It’s easy.They are still alive. It’s in the past. Just switch off that love and move on.” Have heard these all from well- meaning folk. Often. Do we switch off grief? Wouldn’t we all wish it was that easy!
I myself believe that it is a self-preservation –as with any grief–and when i speak of it , each time it allows me to heal just a little bit more–and it is a good thing!! And should not be censured.
Loss of one who still lives must be approached like any grief–the steps must be taken.
The five stages, denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance are a part of the framework that makes up our learning to live without the one we loved–and lost.